Sad, Stupid and Scared.

... 

- I remember sitting at the sea in the other Cafe next to M... waiting for you to come after office and pick me up... In those times also, my feeling were crystal clear. Just like they are now. 
I also remember how excited you were, when you got the call from M... after the first meeting, you were hoping you would get this. Then you got that call! Oh you were so happy, exhilerated. You sent me message or called immediately, to share the news with me as first person! Some days later, you were going for the second meeting there - it was a 17th .. I think, I came to you.. you were so happy. 

You were happy when you came to see me, too. In those days.
The whole life ... shining roads ... in front of us.

What happened to those two people?


​I wonder what happened to those two people, who were happy to just have a few moments together, steal a few hours from the other life, and bring so much happiness in to this dimension - where we could be alone together.

Two Stupid and Scared People: us. we two. Sad, Stupid and Scared. 

Stupid, scared and so shaky that we make both of us sad. Someday.
That we did not ..

I wonder why those two people cannot be happy with the same thing anymore. Why do they need more.
Why cannot they appreciate what they have and be satisfied with it...!
Why cannot they make things just "Let be!" -- 
Why cannot they see again, what it is, what this is! Why cannot they comprehend finally, that it is what it is. It is the Best that it can be!
Just let it Be! Be what it is.

What do we have to always improve, find faults, fix things, ... Why do we look at what is not working? - instead of looking at what is working - to find out why it is working! So that it can continue. Instead, most of the population is busy looking at the part which is not working and trying to find out why it does not work.... - They are so busy looking at what is not working and finding "why" for the broken parts, SO that they forget the part that IS working and, -- they also forget why it DOES work!! 
Sad.
Why do we become two of those sad people!
Obligation? - I am making excuses for you. 
I would be scared, too. Just same as you. If I had your choices to make. If I was in your place, I would be scared, too!
In my life, I have been scared, too. I have made decisions which were on the "safe side." But.. that was only at first stages of my life. ONLY at first stages. .. Before I "grew up." -- Now, I have grown up. I have learned. Finally, I know what matters most. So I think I put more value on "what is right for me", and not "what is safe for me." 

You are doing what is right for others.
If you asked me now, 'hey what is right for you?' - I would not have an answer, too. Just same as you. 
If you asked me now, 'what do you want to do?' - I would tell you, 'I know what I want to do. But I do not know how to do it!'
I do not have all the answers.
I have only one answer, - I know only one thing: That I am yours. 
 
I am guessing now: that you have a lot of thoughts, when you were reading the above paragraph.
What you are doing - is not easy. I think I understand you more, after we ....


after we...

There is no end to this sentence. Not now. Not yet.


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