Love(?) Letters for My Imaginary Darling

It Feels So Real. My Imaginary Darlingschatz I was burning. Then I read your words: "my sunshine, sorry there was no time until now!" - You are telling me 'I am here,'  you are writing to me 'I miss you...' You kiss me. The burning fire in my heart - vanishes. Just like that. It vanished. With one sentence from you, with the reading of just the first name from you, without even knowing what you write, my fire extinguishes itself! Miracle.  Yes... it happened. "I may most probably have a chance to call you this evening," you write. Evening. I can hardly wait. But .. I am calm... My soul has quietened down its chaotic roller-coaster ride: because your words.. and your promise .. and You - are there. Evening. You call me,  "Ich habe dich so vermisst." It was beautiful. We had one of the most profound conversation tonight, about all kinds of themes - about us - which we usually do not launch in to. You took your time -- you did not mix your wor...

Come Darling, Kiss me and  Make me Fall asleep Forever. If you cannot come  Let me go to the forever land. Make yourself at home Stay and live here in your land Happily Ever after . .  - - - with all those things you could not make up your mind to leave and let go - keeps your hands busy holding on. Keep your hands busy  Holding on to all those other thing You want to keep and have and own, Keep them to keep your hands busy, and , and So ............................. please let go of me................................ Because you did not dare To know who we are  'Coz you lacked that strength and conviction to know who you can be.  So we will never know Who we could be. Let you let me go. Do I wish that? No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ###

Come!  Darling Sweetschatz, You know about this life  two lives - we are living. You know that it is bringing us a lot of suffering. You know that it is bringing us a lot of beauty. This life we are living - with each other and without each other at the same time, it is full of suffering and full of beauty.  Where the beauty exceeds the suffering, or the suffering exceed the beauty? Whether we stop the suffering - if can ever stop the suffering - and embrace the beauty!! Suffering for the other one, beauty for us? - Whether the suffering is worth this absolute beauty .. If the beauty of this can last through the suffering - if this beauty outlives the suffering?  How do we know? How do we know!! Darling should we stop or go on? Should we stop this suffering all at once. should we try to amputate the suffering and save our selves by --- killing it off at once? - will it die? Will this - what we have - the beauty of what we share you and I - will this ever die ? Leave ...

Let You Let Me Save You. (# 1.) While my Being sleeps, My Mind will keep going Round and round and round and round....... ... round and round and round ........ . . . . .   .     .     While my Soul Weeps In the lost darkness of the belly of that jungle. Darling Save Me! Save Yourself!! Just take us Out And let us Fly!  Have you got any doubt That it is meant to Be. Have you! Have you? Speak to your soul And listen to what you  Have been hearing All this time. Just listen - not Only Listen but - comprehend -  Do try to comprehend - understant - what it is telling you, What you have been pretending To ignore All this time Since the day - since that day - When we kissed. You cannot. We cannot. We cannot override.... this power of that feeling! You have tried. I have tried. Many, many, many times than we want to admit. We could not. We cannot override that feeling, We will not be able to! Even if we keep trying whole life long. It - wi...

Proving the Theory of Blind Faith. Theory: I had this sudden insight today, just a minute ago: May be I am slightly crazy. That is all. Details:   I have ten thousand different thoughts in the head at any one time, a hundred different ideas, twenty five interests and have two hundred thirty things to do in fifty different disciplines at any given day. At any day of the week. I could go on! Plan a whole year or a life time. Then I would get this One Single Idea, - a belief, a thought, - a soul conviction from the marrow of my bones: - and this One Thing will triumph over Every Singe Thing on the million plus list that has been there taking shape above. So then what happens? I would throw away or give up all those million things to take upon this One Single Thing.  I would change my whole list of tasks, residences and all of the plans, interests - .. no, interestes will remain, . I would change all the plans, residence and all the tasks, all the ideas on those two hundred disc...

Why do we do everything we do, since the day we are born? For the sake of happiness.  Agreed? Let us see. Everything we do in this life, since the day we understand that we can do something - is to have that one feeling: Happiness. That is the end-wish, end-result and the ultimate goal, for every single thing we do in this life. Everything. Health? Money? Peace? House? Jeans or a shirt? Job? Coffee machine? Flashlight? Sofa? Children? Partner, wife husband, boyfriend, friend? Big bank account? Holiday? Work project? - .. everything - every single this we want to (wanted to) have - is because of one single goal in our mind: To have happiness. We believe, that 'by having one or all of those things, we will acquire happiness.' One or more those things or persons are supposed to take us to happiness - to make us closer to that state called happiness. Does it work? Sometimes it works, sometimes it works for sometime, sometimes it does not work and sometimes you hit the jackpot - and...

I miss you . I do not find me without you.. I miss you .  That means I am missing me .. too ...  It is Monday.  Almost afternoon. I am missing you very much. I want to tell you, that I miss you,.. - that I cannot do anything except miss you. And that I want to live !  That I want to have the Full Life with Full Spectrum of feelings and emotions again. Like before. Like on those hours and minutes - or rare days - when you are next to me. The full spectrum.  I want to tell you that at this moment I cannot have a life like that because my current life is split in half... - One life has two parts, two lives.  Then.. I do not want to disturb your busy days this week before you start the travel.. So I write, and not send to you.. this: My Unsent Letter to You Today. 8.6.20 / 12:15 h. Sweet Darlingschatz.. It is the start of week and it seems like I did not have a weekend. How are you and how was yours? I am sorry darling I have not and cannot do anytihng, just ke...

All About the Four with Three Versions of the Two Truths.    I start to write to you... I write to you. I start sending it to you.. almost. Then I stop. I erase the whole thing - copy it here... And write to you again, telling you only this. "It is that fictional story about: "Four People with Three Versions of Two Truths." .. I erased it again. :) Because it is Monday. Because you got things to do. Because we know.. one version of the True story. There are two versions. I am not going to say it here. I am not going to send a link now either. It will wait for another day. Now.. I will try to close my sleepless eyes again. To dream about you..soon" That is all I want to write to you today... I want you to have a clear head, a clear mind - to get your things done in this short week.. before you take off free! I want you to feel free. So you are spared.. what is written here:  Fiction:  All About Four People with Three Versions of Two Truths.  Someone left this pla...